a story by pushkar prabhat
People, random people can give you numerous advises. Even if your query is ‘suicide’, well people will always have innovative ideas about how and when to do it. Of course, they will have their opinion about it, but these people, who obviously have never been a successful ‘suicider’, will give you their life changing advice regarding it. He had already made the mistake of asking for advice in his whatsapp group. And he realized that only when the advises started becoming ridiculous, after a few serious initial ones. Though if you look at it, it was completely his fault because, how can you expect straight answer to the question ‘how to get rid of the dead body?’ unless, you have criminal or assassin friends.
So after much deliberation, in his mind, he finally googled it; after all the body wasn’t going to just vanish on its own. he browsed the heck out of websites and read the hell out of articles and finally found a solution on a blog. All he had to do was, chop the body into pieces and bury them in his backyard. And the rest of the magic would happen on its own.
So dragged the body in the bathroom and put it in the tub. Then he fetched himself the biggest knife he could find in his kitchen. He was faced with another problem, where to start. He decided on the arm. But then, another problem surfaced, should he slice, chop or saw through? He tried them all and realized the best option would be a power saw. So he washed himself, changed his clothes and drove to the hardware store. After buying the saw, he returned.
The chain saw proved worthy. He had pieced the body apart like a puzzle. He collected them in a bag and carried it to his backyard. Luckily, he was into gardening so he had the best soil and manures ready. So, one by one, he planted all the pieces, three quarters deep, just like it said on the blog. Then he opened the hose and watered the yard, till the pieces were submerged. And finally after sprinkling the salt and manures, came the tricky part, waiting.
He waited like an eager long lost lover and then he witnessed the true miracle, the pieces started growing little wings. The wings only got bigger before starting to flutter and slowly, they started flying. They started accelerating towards the sky. But just then, he heard the police sirens approaching. They must have crossed referenced his internet activity with his hardware store trip. He started shooing the pieces to fly away faster. But the police had arrived. They came running, knocking down every door. He afraid and anxious was waiting to catch him any moment when he felt something pulling him upward. He had been careless, and mistakenly put on of his foot into the plated area. He had grown wings.
He soon was mid air, but he had pulled his foot prematurely. The wings had not grown fully. Still he hoped he would at least escape from the reach of the policemen. He tried waving his arms in order to help the wings. The police had spotted him in the sky. He tried pushing his body forward. But the police had locked their aim. He heard three shots and his wings were torn apart.
He started screaming as he fell and then, yes, he woke up and had wet the bed.
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