a story by pushkar prabhat
We crave new. We get so excited for it. But seldom do we consider that for something new to begin, something must end. We must make space for something new, as so something old must be cleared out. They are lucky, who do not have to get rid of the old, but that would mean they had that space, that emptiness till now. Maybe this life does not discriminate in doling out misery.
He was so happy. He had been, finally, awarded the gift of love. Just a week ago, she had accepted his proposal. He was ecstatic. He did not have a girlfriend in school or college. Let’s just say he was shy and unpopular. But now with the help of his best friend, he was able to woo the girl of his dreams. It’s always advantageous to have an insider into the tribe you want to, ahem, convince.
But, since yesterday, he had been deeply distressed. He had a choice to make. A choice that would leave him unhappy no matter what choice he makes. Though there would be happiness thorough each choice but, he was not concerned about happiness. When confronted with such situations, we seldom are.
He had to choose between his best friend and his love. It was inevitable and he had anticipated this moment. But no matter how well we speculate or deliberate, when the moment hits, we are always left gasping for breath. No amount of philosophy seems to help. Wisdom seems unfair. Yes, life is unfair, and knowing this eases nothing rather leaves us helpless and hopeless.
On one hand he had someone, who had helped him get through every difficult situation in life till now. And on the other hand he had someone, with whom he had dreamed to spend the rest of his life. On one hand he had someone who had helped him get the girl of his dreams. And on the other hand there was that very girl, who now wanted him to get rid of that very friend. And though this last fact paints an evil picture of the girl, she was not. It was jealousy that was evil. And she was extremely vulnerable. Most girls would not want their boyfriends to be close to any other girl. Some might be okay. They might not issue some ultimatum. But, it always creates conflicts and misunderstandings. It does not pay well to be a saint, when it comes to relationships. It was only fair and rightful of her to ask her due. No one likes a date with jealousy.
He, usually, used to discuss situations such as this with her. But this was different. He knew that if he told her, she would, for him, take herself out of the equation. He could not do that to her. It would be too cruel. He, despite having love and friendship, both, in his life for the first time, felt so alone and ever so desperate for the affection of either but, no one was there to help him through this. He had to do this alone. He must let go of stability for the promise of future or for stability, he must let go of that future.
He knew people would judge him for any choice he made. He did not care anymore. It was his choice to make and he had made one. Hurt and uncertain, he took out his phone and dialed that very familiar number. He hadn’t decided on the words. He was numb from emotional exhaustion. As his life was about to change, he was about to change someone’s life. Burning away something, clearing away something might make space for something else but, nothings ever fills the void completely afterwards. And nothing ever goes away without leaving its mark. He was about to be scarred for life.
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